Slices of Life You don’t make me cry

Slices of Life

You don’t make me cry

By Jill Pertler

This weekend I spent time at a class reunion with friends I don’t see every day (but wish I still did.)

They were the friends who knew me when. And I knew them in the same way. We were innocent and young. Not yet adults, but on the budding cusp. Growing up together creates an enduring bond that can only come from experiencing pivotal years together.

This bond we created has only grown stronger through the years, and I think it is now like a snowball rolling downhill: only getting bigger and stronger. It’s pretty amazing when you live it up close.

The friends at my class reunion knew me when I was only a girl named Jill. Before I became a wife or mother or grandmother. And they knew the boy who was to become my husband as well.

He and I graduated from the same high school class together. We met when we were 15 and became instant friends. Some of our classmates didn’t realize our close relationship back then because we didn’t date; we were just best friends. But I think they appreciate it now. Most of them realize we were soulmates and all of them know he died much too soon.

And they care about me. Sometimes, when we talk about him and their memories and my memories, I might tear up. Some of the friends from my reunion have apologized for making me cry.

No apologies are necessary, because you don’t make me cry. You can’t make me cry. Truly.

Not really.

Don’t worry about it. Don’t let it burden you. Don’t let my burdens weigh you down. I try not to let my burdens weigh me down. It does no good.

So, when I cry, please understand: it’s okay. I’m okay.

Crying is okay.

Sometimes crying is warranted. Sometimes it is needed. Tears can be a release. Holding them in does much more damage than letting them out ever could.

Sometimes I cry, but don’t avoid me because you’re afraid I’ll cry. Don’t worry about your words or sharing memories because you think they make me sad. Please, don’t stop saying his name. Not ever. I love hearing his name and I love hearing about memories of him. They may make me cry; they may make me laugh. Sometimes I’ll laugh through my tears.

It’s all okay.

I cry sometimes because of the love I’ve experienced in life, and because that love is gone for this very brief moment and that can feel terribly sad. When we humans feel sad sometimes tears flow - beyond our control, beyond your control or my control.

Tears just flow, as emotions flow and love flows. As life flows.

So don’t worry if you think you make me cry. Because you don’t. Nor do I.

Love makes me cry.

I have loved. I do love. And the temporary loss of it right now brings tears to my eyes. But that does not rest on you or even me.

It rests on love. And love conquers all.

It really does. It really will. In just a moment, however long that moment may be.

(Jill Pertler is an award-winning syndicated columnist, published playwright, author and member of the National Society of Newspaper Columnists. Don’t miss a slice; follow the Slices of Life page on Facebook.)